Horse Jokes

I thought all of you might like a good horse laugh. 🙂  So here you are.

Where do you take a sick horse???
To the Horspital!

A cowboy rode into town on Thursday,
Stayed 3 days and rode out on Thursday.
How is this possible?

His horse’s name was Thursday.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune… the Walmart manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal, he said to the farmer: “I think your horse looks pretty good, so I’ll give you $500 for him.”
“He doesn’t look so good, and he’s not for sale,” the farmer said.
The man insisted, “I think he looks just fine and I’ll up the price to $1,000.”
“He doesn’t look so good,” the farmer said, “but if you want him that much, he’s yours.”
The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the farmer and screamed, “You sold me a blind horse. You cheated me!”
The farmer calmly replied, “I told you he didn’t look so good, didn’t I?”

A city dweller came to a farm and saw a beautiful horse. He decided he had to have the animal. He bargained with the farmer and the farmer finially sold him the horse. The city man jumped on the horse and said, “Giddyup!” The horse didn’t budge. The farmer explained, “This is a special kind of horse. He’ll only move if you say, ‘Praise the Lord.’ To stop him, you have to say, ‘Amen.'” Keeping this in mind, the new owner yelled, “Praise the Lord!” whereupon the horse took off with great speed. Soon horse and rider were headed for a cliff. Just in time the rider remembered to say “Amen!” The horse came to a screeching halt right at the edge of the cliff. Relieved, the rider raised his eyes to heaven and exclaimed, “Praise the Lord!”

JUNIOR: Daddy, there’s a man at the circus who jumps on a horse’s back, slips underneath his belly, catches hold of its tail and finishes on the horse’s neck!
FATHER: That’s nothing. I did all that the first time I rode a horse!

You know your a horse lover when- ~ Your friend says “Hurry Up” when you’re walking slow and you cluck.

 
Five Gaited Horse: Start, Stop, Stumble, Stagger and Fall.

Have fun reading these!!